Tuesday, May 30, 2006
okay.
i feel like i have no friends.
omg.
zzz.
just ONE afternoon.
wth.
i haven had lunch.
probably because i couldn't find anyone to eat with.
and i dun wanna eat alone.
kns.
`abby: studying with friend
`ele: school
`kerli: never ans my calls or reply my sms. working =(
` leon: msg him last night about some things which i was quite sad about. din bother replying.
` cheryl: cannot go out. mom dont let.
all these people are my CLOSE friends/relatives.
yet.
sigh.
i wont blame those who can't make it.
BUT hello?
can you at least reply?
wtf.
forget it.
i'm lonely.
so lonely.
sigh.
i need school.
to keep me busy.
keep my mind free from certain things.
free my mind fromyou
damn.
i hate holidays.
urgh.
SO much time.
that i kept thinking.
and thinking.
and no one's free to accompany me.
to stop me from all those thoughts.
sigh.
maybe i should get a job.
keep me BUSY.
yes please.
me_________`e-leen *
4:07 PM
Sunday, May 28, 2006
okay.
i'm pissed.
here's why.
this picture. is posted with de caption "BRANDE"
WTF?!
do you see brande?
its not even HALF of us there.
there's only SIX.
they are a CLIQUE in Brande.
and they ALWAYS leave other people out.
wtf.
seriously i don't hate them.
they are all my friends.
but i just don't like the way they don't involved others.
see the top left picture?
when we saw them getting ready for that shoot.
everyone join in.
thinking, "yea a brande shoot"
turned out.
cheryl: erm can it just be the six of us please?"
de rest : walks off grumbling.
WTF ?
fine la.
wa lau.
the caption should be changed pls.
ITS CLEARLY NOT BRANDE.
its just you guys' clique.
and anyway.
if any of you ever reads this,
i'm not the only one who feels this way.
if you want.
i can get all those who feels this way.
and yes, we don't like it.
this is another reason why i don't wanna go for anymore Brande outing.
because its all the same.
you six will forever be together and leave others out.
so i'm not planning to go any future Brande outings.
until things change for the better.
otherwise you will never see me going.
//edit: its more of five of them cause yiu hei is not really part of this anymore. so ya. FIVE.
me_________`e-leen *
7:44 PM
Friday, May 26, 2006
weeee~
CCN day today.
fun.
at the same time super tiring.
probably because i kept walking around trying to psycho people to buy.
LOL.
mainly guys.
EASY TARGETS PLEASE.
they can't refuse GIRLS.
WAHAHA.
so many people so nice to me please.
i shall credit all. =)
no 1. ah yuan - bought water for me when i told him my throat pain. awww.
no 2. hsin chang - give me flowers [from his stall]
no 3. kenneth - sponsored my air-brush tattoo. so cool kay.
no 4. justin [mama] - bought my kacang puteh twice. haha
no 5. thomas - paid for the kacang puteh but gave me to eat. heehee.
no 6. ricky - bought one though he rejected his friend's stuffs. HEHE.
no 7. julian - give me a heart shaped ring made of straws. so sweet right? =)
i'm so touched today please.
HAHA.
especially when ah yuan gave me the bottle of water.
waaaa. ah yuan so nice sia.
LOL.
aiyo.
my voice.
bad again. =(
hahaha.
shouted too much.
"KACANG PUTEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~"
ya like that.
hahaha
me_________`e-leen *
11:32 PM
Thursday, May 25, 2006
i've been thinking.
i think i really need someone.
who can be there for me always.
i feel lonely.
mentally lonely.
physically i'll never be lonely of course.
but... my heart feels so HOLLOW.
EMPTY.
but i can't just make anyone mr right.
i need find him.
how?
i never had any relationships.
and i think i didn't want any.
of rather i'm afraid of having one maybe?
i don't know.
i don't have those feel for guys who like me.
not hate, just no feel, no chemistry.
and guys i like never seemed to like me.
or rather i never did confessed.
and i think it's because i'm afraid.
of rejection.
of being hurt.
i feel alone.
sigh.
i'm still waiting for that special someone.
waiting....
me_________`e-leen *
12:06 AM
Monday, May 22, 2006
great.
i've been in the DADra room since 10.30am.
and its now...
6.07pm.
wow.
oh course we had breaks.
BUT.
I AM SHAG.
freaks.
so freaking stressed can.
we went to ITAS to destress la.
then we were like totally crazy.
as in CRAZY, SIAO, GOT PROBLEM IN THE HEAD.
like... we can just suddenly.. stand up.. and shout,
"xiao ming. come back xiao ming."
OMG.
xiao ming is the "haunt-ter" of our school.
well. i can't use ghost.
a pair of feet is not really ghost right?
soo. "haunt-ter" lor.
HAHA.
yes.
and we just suddenly burst out into laughters for NO APPARENT REASON.
cool.
think ITAS people think we kee siao.
HAH!
too stressed.
until we have to go to the extend of being CRAZY to DEstress.
cool.
haha.
anyway.
think.. gonna start on my SPFex model soon.
DAMN.
no rest at all.
urgh.
think we are all gonna collapse can.
so freaking tired.
somemore today supposedly NO school.
BUT. think..
half the class is here chionging DADra.
jia you people.
we can do it.
just hope we don't collapse first.
sigh.
stressedified.
me_________`e-leen *
6:09 PM
Saturday, May 20, 2006
zz.
i'm gonna break down physically.
oh my.
so tired can.
zzz.
joel says,
if you have pimples on your forehead, you are not eating well.
if you have pimples on your cheeks, you have excessive male hormones.
hahahs.
and i never had any on my cheeks b4 =)
and he said, if you have pimples on the part below your mouth,
you are stress.
and i have 3 big ones.
so i'm VERY stressed.
URGH.
have to finish the dumb model and DADra by tue.
oh my.
can DIE.
spent alot of money on materials also.
almost $50 i think.
wind up not eating dinner.
i think i have not had proper dinner for like, 7 days.
and counting.
everyday starve myself.
go home cook maggie. =(
had my first nice dinner today.
of long john's.
with ele, joel, justin, shi han, jeremy.
=)
yums.
tired.
zzz
me_________`e-leen *
11:32 PM
Friday, May 19, 2006
time now: 6.18pm
venue: tp design school [ DADra room]
feeling: SLEEPY
oh my.
i'm so gonna stay in school till late.
just to do part of my DADra assignment.
zz.
shag.
so sleepy luhs.
urgh.
gonna break down soon.
either gonna stay in the computer room do DADra.
or go studio do the dumb model.
zzz. shagness can.
omtian.
tmr oso going school. just to this two dumb assignments.
URGH!
EILEEN
JIA YOU JIA YOU JIA YOU!!
hahahas.
self-cheer.
why cannot huh?!?! hahas.
sunday.
we have match btw 492 and ah josh they all de team.
HAHA.
are they prepared for OWNAGE?
lols =p
OH MY.
DADra de dumb pic so hard to draw.
what the...
zzzzzzz
omg.
i'm dead.
okay.
i shall not do DADra today.
i shall do de model.
at least that's achievable.
oh my.
zzz..
okay.
i'm so sleepy.
zzz
me_________`e-leen *
6:21 PM
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
hahs.
i told my mom about de phone.
cannot keep anythin from her luhs.
she only say say abit.
hahahs.
nv really scold.
den she pass me de samsung spare phone.
weee.
plus increase my allowance by $10 per week.
wakekekes.
maybe she touched that we ran in de rain to buy cake for her ytd.
den not only nv scold me for losing my phone.
gimme a better phone.
and raise my "salary" somemore.
wahahs.
i love my mom. =)
*mingennathan: you were right man! being a good daugher serves it purpose. but of course, i didn't do it to get rewards =)
school getting tough.
every night have to go online do research.
urgh.
i wan slp...... zzzz.
hmm.
i went to get de replacement sim card on mon.
was hoping they would thot i 1st time lost.
den dun need to pay.
like de last 5 times i lost.
wakeke.
den de lady go: "okay. 2nd time lost so must pay $21 okay?"
dammit.
hahah
maybe de last time i lost phone too recently?
=p
okay.
den went to buy my NEW PINK AND WHITE BILLABONG HP STRAP.
straight away.
so i can hang my phone to it.
and now..
everywhere i go .
i hang my phone around my neck
so unless u chop off my neck.
i wont lose my phone. =D
i hope.
hahahas.
went to skool to do assignment 1.2
URGH!
haha.
we [my class] were so totally fooling around in de studio rather den doing our work can.
hahahs.
=x
laughed so much.
they brought joy to me man.
awww.
HAHA.
i think my life very sian now leh.
how?
skool.
court.
home.
skool.
court.
home.
omg.
zzz
tmr there's gals bball try out.
i dun wanna go de leh.
but huiying drag me go.
zakiah oso askin me go.
den go see see lor.
but i doubt i'll join.
SO BUSY LIAO STILL JOIN.
siao.
hahas
k i go slp liao
BUAY TAHAN HORRRRRRRRRRrr
LOL.
dats brandon's line.
=p
me_________`e-leen *
1:00 AM
Sunday, May 14, 2006
this year's mother's day is jinx.
jinx day.
1st.
though i slept at 4am.
i woke up at 11am.
vacuumed de floor.
when to tampines mart with my sis.
despite de freaking heavy rain.
we ran in it.
just to buy a mother's day cake.
so wei da right? =)
my sis put her phone in my pocket.
with my phone.
on TOP of my phone.
so dat it wont get wet when we chiong thru de rain.
when buying de cake.
i realised.
my phone is gone.
BUT.
i dun get it.
my phone is below.
FREAKING BELOW my sis's phone.
yet.
hers still there.
in my pocket.
mine's gone.
go figure.
i'm not gonna tell my mom yet.
dun make her angry on mom's day.
but i told my dad
he said, "dun care you liao"
oww.
sadded.
think my phone bai stunt.
run out of my pocket.
i dunno why i'm still making de wise-cracks.
freaks.
i can't contact anyone.
no one can contact me.
and i freaking dunno wad time to go skool tmr.
sigh.
god hates me.
de phone hates me more.
sadded.
plus,
my fren.
bgr problems.
today oso.
his fren.
broke up with his gf.
today oso.
yes i confirm.
today is jinx day.
this mother's day.
stay at home.
or you'll probably get bang down by car.
or hit by a flower pot.
see?
its mother's day.
but such a gloomy weather.
signs.
to show.
its a jinx day.
anyway.
for those who can't contact me.
sorry.
me_________`e-leen *
6:01 PM
Thursday, May 11, 2006
i feel sad.
depressed.
feel like just crying and crying.
but i don't know why.
maybe being always happy in front of people is just a front.
maybe because of this,
all the emotions start to pour when i'm alone.
i start thinking about alot of things.
start to feel sad.
but don't know why.
the reasons are mixed up.
making me confused.
frustrated.
alot of things happen.
bad things.
unhappy things.
things that i don't want them to happen.
but they did.
i hurt some people.
and some people hurt me.
what goes around comes around huh?
i feel sick.
of life.
i heard about cheryl's troubles.
about how she feels like dying.
i want to tell her lets die together.
but i can't get a reason to die.
just feel like.
SICK.
SICK OF LIFE.
SICK OF PRETENDING.
being always happy.
always cheerful.
sick. sick. sick.
but that's me.
eileen.
i can't help myself.
i care for others more than myself.
i would sacrifice my happiness for others'
why?
i don't know.
i like to see happiness in others.
i like to see people smile.
maybe that's why i like to make people laugh.
i like to entertain people.
their joy is my joy.
but i need my own happiness too.
and i don't know how to get it.
someone help me.
i'm so tired.
ilu mom.
ilu dad.
ilu yanling.
ilu jie.
ilu weijun.
ilu cheryl.
ilu abby.
ilu steph.
ilu kerli.
ilu all my cousins.
ilu all my friends
ilu ilu ilu.
i won't kill myself.
i love my family too much.
i love my friends too much.
i know they will be sad.
i don't want them to be sad.
so i won't die.
but my heart is dying.
after this post.
i shall go give my younger sister a hug.
she's always there for me.
though we do have our differences.
i love her forever.
i need someone by my side.
i need you.
but i don't think i'll ever have you.
i want to forget you.
i'm trying to.
maybe then i can find someone else.
someone else who care.
who at least pays attention to me.
i always say we girls don't need guys.
maybe i'm wrong.
but seriously.
if i can't ever find a guy who i like as much as he likes me.
i stay single forever.
at least being single,
you won't be hurt.
you won't feel pain.
maybe that's why i'm advising cheryl to break with her stead ASAP.
why?
that fucking bastard cares more about dota than her.
rather dota than reply her messages.
when she cried and told him about it.
he said, "i want a normal gf who don't cry so easily de"
ask her go see doctor.
WTF.
FUCKING BASTARD.
i want her to break with him asap.
this kind of guy.
ain't worth her love
ain't worth her tears.
don't deserve her at all.
i shall make myself busy with school stuffs.
then maybe i won't think so much.
i miss those tkgs days.
when its all girls.
girls won't hurt each other the way guys do.
the most hurtful thing a girl can do to you is probably just bitching about you.
a guy can tear your heart in twos.
and that guy does not necessarily have to be the guy you like.
but somehow they just do.
maybe that's why you see so many lesbians.
they probably got hurt by guys before.
or they think that guys are not dependable.
the way they get sick of something so fast.
maybe i should turn to lesbianism.
no joke.
since my school has so many lesbians.
and i'm sick of waiting.
sick of being hurt.
sick of being neglected.
urgh.
i cannot think straight.
i shall not think then.
i shall sleep.
edit//
thanks jerome.
you are a true friend.
always being there to listen to my troubles.
=) i love you always.
erms.
friendship love.
hahs.
me_________`e-leen *
11:12 PM
Sunday, May 07, 2006
cut my hair ytd.
=)
looks almost de same
LOL.
except its ABIT shorter.
and ABIT thinner.
not so FLUFF.
lol.
for only $10.
and i get a free comb.
woooh.
go to EQ house.
LOL.
free advertising.
=x
went with cheryl.
she cut too.
turned out not bad oso.
haha.
went to court after that.
about 3 plus.
zzz.
played cards.
talked.
crap around.
till 5 plus 6.
leon came down.
terence came down.
rained.
SIANs.
cannot go home.
lol.
yays?
hahahs.
kerli and jieyun went to kerli's house dry up.
de guys came. [mk, daniel, zheng yuan, weilun]
went to kerli's house awhile.
talk talk.
went back
de guys had issues.
so i sat with weida they all 1st.
LOL.
those 3 funny guys.
hahahs.
leon went home to bathe.
terence went his house oso.
den came down again.
went to meet de rest to eat dinner.
i feel so bad.
leon and terence treat me.
i gave them de $5 but they stuffed it back to me
as in literally STUFF.
lol.
thanks guys! =)
went home.
took teh's jacket home oso.
lols.
no 1) he lazy take home.
no 2) its so nice to wear dat i refused to let it go.
LOL.
but it so BIG.
hahah.
but comfy though.
hahas.
dunno when gonna return him.
=x.
lols
me_________`e-leen *
10:28 PM
Friday, May 05, 2006
wth.
its like, 1st week of school?
only de 4th day only?
and we have major assignment liao.
NVM.
and we have to present on TUESDAY.
wth.
i'm shag.
block teaching is freaking stressful.
freaks.
i have to burn midnight oil today.
urgh.
nvm.
hopefully will get used to de hectic schedule.
anyway.
shirley said the security guy saw [or heard i'm not sure] XIAO MING ytd night.
OMG.
but now we think its XIAO HUA.
we suspect its a gal.
zzz.
i REFUSE to walk to de lift from de studio from today onwards after 7.30pm.
dats when it gets dark.
but victor says those stuffs normally only happen after 9pm.
OMG.
XIAO HUA.
imagine seeing a pair of feet.
with shoes.
OMG.
zzz.
i'm shag.
my nice leather bag broke.
=( so sad.
i love dat bag.
and its NEW.
=(.
lousy quality.
or i think too heavy. =(
me_________`e-leen *
11:28 PM
Thursday, May 04, 2006
today's SPFEX lecture was pretty interesting.
SURPRISINGLY.
haha.
finished SPFEX at 11.30am.
went for lunch at Mensa.
i LOVE the mushroom soup!!
haha.
went to IAD studio to do our dumb project.
turned out quite well.
though we started off bad.
haha.
finished de whole thing in like, 2hrs?
kinda amazed.
our group started with de least stuffs.
but completed 1st.
LOL.
coolios.
had DADra till 5.15pm.
we always get let out early. =D
went back to studio for our presentation draft.
zzz.
drafted out.
okay.
stayed on for dinner at design skool.
de uncle is super funny.
hahaha.
he got bullied by thet students.
me: " uncle you so poor thing get bully by them"
uncle: "ya lor. you help me beat them la"
me: "LOL!"
all in chi of cuz.
haha. so funny.
left de studio at 7pm.
omg.
so freaking scary can.
dark and empty.
plus b4 that a year two senior telling us about XIAO MING.
xiao ming, they say, is a pair of lil boy's feet.
dat will come out from de PID's studio.
de door opens itself.
xiao ming appeared.
den walked down de stairs.
and disappears.
oh READ.
its a PAIR OF FEET.
with shoes.
nothin else.
ankle down.
freaky sia.
LOL
and imagine poor me walking down alone.
AND THE FREAKIN PID STUDIO RIGHT BESIDE IAD'S ONE.
omtian.
i hum to myself and walk oh-so-fast to de lift.
HAH.
went to take 291.
supposedly to go home.
leon called.
erm.
have somethings to tell him and teh.
so went to meet them at tm macs
den.
took 28 tog.
i WAS SUPPOSED TO GO HOME
and they pushed/pulled me off de bus.
FREAKS.
lol.
went to de rc.
they play their bball.
i did my hw.
so guai. =)
i hate assignents la!
grrr.
yays. gonna cut and dye my hair soon.
buahahaha.
me_________`e-leen *
11:06 PM
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
i'm in lecture room now.
zzz. and i'm super slpy.
and de only reason why my lecturer nv kan me and my fren for using the com for irrelevant stuffs is because...
we are too pro and finished our stuffs so damn fast.
LOL.
=)
i'm SUPER slpy.
i need slp.
if leon they all nv call me go court i'm not going today.
HAH.
see if can find ppl eat dinner with.
if not go home eat.
den do hw.
ZZ. go online check friendster, msn awhile.
and i shall sleep at TEN.
if its possible. zzz
i'm freaking shag.
dammit
design students all no sleep sia.
no time for sleep.
PROJECTS.
zzzzz.
and wad... its just day 2
freaks.
i need SLEEP.
me_________`e-leen *
4:53 PM
Monday, May 01, 2006
did a cool test.
results:
The fact that you're a smart person who is more able to understand complex concepts than many other people are really draws people to you! But that's not the only thing. Your answers on the test indicate you're great at expressing myself and can be at my best when articulating my ideas or communicating with others. You are a hopeful and optimistic person who tends to look on the bright side of life, too.
In all, there are 15 qualities that help define you when you're at your best. Those are the traits potential employers, friends, and partners look for in you. What makes you unique is your particular distribution of those 15 qualities.We've found that your particular combination of qualities is rare — only 2 in 10,000 people share the same general mix of traits. Those are great odds if you're trying to show a potential employer, colleague, friend, or date why you're exactly the right person for them.
coolios. =)
me_________`e-leen *
12:55 AM
okay.
i feel like i have no friends.
omg.
zzz.
just ONE afternoon.
wth.
i haven had lunch.
probably because i couldn't find anyone to eat with.
and i dun wanna eat alone.
kns.
`abby: studying with friend
`ele: school
`kerli: never ans my calls or reply my sms. working =(
` leon: msg him last night about some things which i was quite sad about. din bother replying.
` cheryl: cannot go out. mom dont let.
all these people are my CLOSE friends/relatives.
yet.
sigh.
i wont blame those who can't make it.
BUT hello?
can you at least reply?
wtf.
forget it.
i'm lonely.
so lonely.
sigh.
i need school.
to keep me busy.
keep my mind free from certain things.
free my mind from
damn.
i hate holidays.
urgh.
SO much time.
that i kept thinking.
and thinking.
and no one's free to accompany me.
to stop me from all those thoughts.
sigh.
maybe i should get a job.
keep me BUSY.
yes please.
me_________`e-leen *
4:07 PM
Sunday, May 28, 2006
okay.
i'm pissed.
here's why.
this picture. is posted with de caption "BRANDE"
WTF?!
do you see brande?
its not even HALF of us there.
there's only SIX.
they are a CLIQUE in Brande.
and they ALWAYS leave other people out.
wtf.
seriously i don't hate them.
they are all my friends.
but i just don't like the way they don't involved others.
see the top left picture?
when we saw them getting ready for that shoot.
everyone join in.
thinking, "yea a brande shoot"
turned out.
cheryl: erm can it just be the six of us please?"
de rest : walks off grumbling.
WTF ?
fine la.
wa lau.
the caption should be changed pls.
ITS CLEARLY NOT BRANDE.
its just you guys' clique.
and anyway.
if any of you ever reads this,
i'm not the only one who feels this way.
if you want.
i can get all those who feels this way.
and yes, we don't like it.
this is another reason why i don't wanna go for anymore Brande outing.
because its all the same.
you six will forever be together and leave others out.
so i'm not planning to go any future Brande outings.
until things change for the better.
otherwise you will never see me going.
//edit: its more of five of them cause yiu hei is not really part of this anymore. so ya. FIVE.
me_________`e-leen *
7:44 PM
Friday, May 26, 2006
weeee~
CCN day today.
fun.
at the same time super tiring.
probably because i kept walking around trying to psycho people to buy.
LOL.
mainly guys.
EASY TARGETS PLEASE.
they can't refuse GIRLS.
WAHAHA.
so many people so nice to me please.
i shall credit all. =)
no 1. ah yuan - bought water for me when i told him my throat pain. awww.
no 2. hsin chang - give me flowers [from his stall]
no 3. kenneth - sponsored my air-brush tattoo. so cool kay.
no 4. justin [mama] - bought my kacang puteh twice. haha
no 5. thomas - paid for the kacang puteh but gave me to eat. heehee.
no 6. ricky - bought one though he rejected his friend's stuffs. HEHE.
no 7. julian - give me a heart shaped ring made of straws. so sweet right? =)
i'm so touched today please.
HAHA.
especially when ah yuan gave me the bottle of water.
waaaa. ah yuan so nice sia.
LOL.
aiyo.
my voice.
bad again. =(
hahaha.
shouted too much.
"KACANG PUTEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~"
ya like that.
hahaha
me_________`e-leen *
11:32 PM
Thursday, May 25, 2006
i've been thinking.
i think i really need someone.
who can be there for me always.
i feel lonely.
mentally lonely.
physically i'll never be lonely of course.
but... my heart feels so HOLLOW.
EMPTY.
but i can't just make anyone mr right.
i need find him.
how?
i never had any relationships.
and i think i didn't want any.
of rather i'm afraid of having one maybe?
i don't know.
i don't have those feel for guys who like me.
not hate, just no feel, no chemistry.
and guys i like never seemed to like me.
or rather i never did confessed.
and i think it's because i'm afraid.
of rejection.
of being hurt.
i feel alone.
sigh.
i'm still waiting for that special someone.
waiting....
me_________`e-leen *
12:06 AM
Monday, May 22, 2006
great.
i've been in the DADra room since 10.30am.
and its now...
6.07pm.
wow.
oh course we had breaks.
BUT.
I AM SHAG.
freaks.
so freaking stressed can.
we went to ITAS to destress la.
then we were like totally crazy.
as in CRAZY, SIAO, GOT PROBLEM IN THE HEAD.
like... we can just suddenly.. stand up.. and shout,
"xiao ming. come back xiao ming."
OMG.
xiao ming is the "haunt-ter" of our school.
well. i can't use ghost.
a pair of feet is not really ghost right?
soo. "haunt-ter" lor.
HAHA.
yes.
and we just suddenly burst out into laughters for NO APPARENT REASON.
cool.
think ITAS people think we kee siao.
HAH!
too stressed.
until we have to go to the extend of being CRAZY to DEstress.
cool.
haha.
anyway.
think.. gonna start on my SPFex model soon.
DAMN.
no rest at all.
urgh.
think we are all gonna collapse can.
so freaking tired.
somemore today supposedly NO school.
BUT. think..
half the class is here chionging DADra.
jia you people.
we can do it.
just hope we don't collapse first.
sigh.
stressedified.
me_________`e-leen *
6:09 PM
Saturday, May 20, 2006
zz.
i'm gonna break down physically.
oh my.
so tired can.
zzz.
joel says,
if you have pimples on your forehead, you are not eating well.
if you have pimples on your cheeks, you have excessive male hormones.
hahahs.
and i never had any on my cheeks b4 =)
and he said, if you have pimples on the part below your mouth,
you are stress.
and i have 3 big ones.
so i'm VERY stressed.
URGH.
have to finish the dumb model and DADra by tue.
oh my.
can DIE.
spent alot of money on materials also.
almost $50 i think.
wind up not eating dinner.
i think i have not had proper dinner for like, 7 days.
and counting.
everyday starve myself.
go home cook maggie. =(
had my first nice dinner today.
of long john's.
with ele, joel, justin, shi han, jeremy.
=)
yums.
tired.
zzz
me_________`e-leen *
11:32 PM
Friday, May 19, 2006
time now: 6.18pm
venue: tp design school [ DADra room]
feeling: SLEEPY
oh my.
i'm so gonna stay in school till late.
just to do part of my DADra assignment.
zz.
shag.
so sleepy luhs.
urgh.
gonna break down soon.
either gonna stay in the computer room do DADra.
or go studio do the dumb model.
zzz. shagness can.
omtian.
tmr oso going school. just to this two dumb assignments.
URGH!
EILEEN
JIA YOU JIA YOU JIA YOU!!
hahahas.
self-cheer.
why cannot huh?!?! hahas.
sunday.
we have match btw 492 and ah josh they all de team.
HAHA.
are they prepared for OWNAGE?
lols =p
OH MY.
DADra de dumb pic so hard to draw.
what the...
zzzzzzz
omg.
i'm dead.
okay.
i shall not do DADra today.
i shall do de model.
at least that's achievable.
oh my.
zzz..
okay.
i'm so sleepy.
zzz
me_________`e-leen *
6:21 PM
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
hahs.
i told my mom about de phone.
cannot keep anythin from her luhs.
she only say say abit.
hahahs.
nv really scold.
den she pass me de samsung spare phone.
weee.
plus increase my allowance by $10 per week.
wakekekes.
maybe she touched that we ran in de rain to buy cake for her ytd.
den not only nv scold me for losing my phone.
gimme a better phone.
and raise my "salary" somemore.
wahahs.
i love my mom. =)
*mingennathan: you were right man! being a good daugher serves it purpose. but of course, i didn't do it to get rewards =)
school getting tough.
every night have to go online do research.
urgh.
i wan slp...... zzzz.
hmm.
i went to get de replacement sim card on mon.
was hoping they would thot i 1st time lost.
den dun need to pay.
like de last 5 times i lost.
wakeke.
den de lady go: "okay. 2nd time lost so must pay $21 okay?"
dammit.
hahah
maybe de last time i lost phone too recently?
=p
okay.
den went to buy my NEW PINK AND WHITE BILLABONG HP STRAP.
straight away.
so i can hang my phone to it.
and now..
everywhere i go .
i hang my phone around my neck
so unless u chop off my neck.
i wont lose my phone. =D
i hope.
hahahas.
went to skool to do assignment 1.2
URGH!
haha.
we [my class] were so totally fooling around in de studio rather den doing our work can.
hahahs.
=x
laughed so much.
they brought joy to me man.
awww.
HAHA.
i think my life very sian now leh.
how?
skool.
court.
home.
skool.
court.
home.
omg.
zzz
tmr there's gals bball try out.
i dun wanna go de leh.
but huiying drag me go.
zakiah oso askin me go.
den go see see lor.
but i doubt i'll join.
SO BUSY LIAO STILL JOIN.
siao.
hahas
k i go slp liao
BUAY TAHAN HORRRRRRRRRRrr
LOL.
dats brandon's line.
=p
me_________`e-leen *
1:00 AM
Sunday, May 14, 2006
this year's mother's day is jinx.
jinx day.
1st.
though i slept at 4am.
i woke up at 11am.
vacuumed de floor.
when to tampines mart with my sis.
despite de freaking heavy rain.
we ran in it.
just to buy a mother's day cake.
so wei da right? =)
my sis put her phone in my pocket.
with my phone.
on TOP of my phone.
so dat it wont get wet when we chiong thru de rain.
when buying de cake.
i realised.
my phone is gone.
BUT.
i dun get it.
my phone is below.
FREAKING BELOW my sis's phone.
yet.
hers still there.
in my pocket.
mine's gone.
go figure.
i'm not gonna tell my mom yet.
dun make her angry on mom's day.
but i told my dad
he said, "dun care you liao"
oww.
sadded.
think my phone bai stunt.
run out of my pocket.
i dunno why i'm still making de wise-cracks.
freaks.
i can't contact anyone.
no one can contact me.
and i freaking dunno wad time to go skool tmr.
sigh.
god hates me.
de phone hates me more.
sadded.
plus,
my fren.
bgr problems.
today oso.
his fren.
broke up with his gf.
today oso.
yes i confirm.
today is jinx day.
this mother's day.
stay at home.
or you'll probably get bang down by car.
or hit by a flower pot.
see?
its mother's day.
but such a gloomy weather.
signs.
to show.
its a jinx day.
anyway.
for those who can't contact me.
sorry.
me_________`e-leen *
6:01 PM
Thursday, May 11, 2006
i feel sad.
depressed.
feel like just crying and crying.
but i don't know why.
maybe being always happy in front of people is just a front.
maybe because of this,
all the emotions start to pour when i'm alone.
i start thinking about alot of things.
start to feel sad.
but don't know why.
the reasons are mixed up.
making me confused.
frustrated.
alot of things happen.
bad things.
unhappy things.
things that i don't want them to happen.
but they did.
i hurt some people.
and some people hurt me.
what goes around comes around huh?
i feel sick.
of life.
i heard about cheryl's troubles.
about how she feels like dying.
i want to tell her lets die together.
but i can't get a reason to die.
just feel like.
SICK.
SICK OF LIFE.
SICK OF PRETENDING.
being always happy.
always cheerful.
sick. sick. sick.
but that's me.
eileen.
i can't help myself.
i care for others more than myself.
i would sacrifice my happiness for others'
why?
i don't know.
i like to see happiness in others.
i like to see people smile.
maybe that's why i like to make people laugh.
i like to entertain people.
their joy is my joy.
but i need my own happiness too.
and i don't know how to get it.
someone help me.
i'm so tired.
ilu mom.
ilu dad.
ilu yanling.
ilu jie.
ilu weijun.
ilu cheryl.
ilu abby.
ilu steph.
ilu kerli.
ilu all my cousins.
ilu all my friends
ilu ilu ilu.
i won't kill myself.
i love my family too much.
i love my friends too much.
i know they will be sad.
i don't want them to be sad.
so i won't die.
but my heart is dying.
after this post.
i shall go give my younger sister a hug.
she's always there for me.
though we do have our differences.
i love her forever.
i need someone by my side.
i need you.
but i don't think i'll ever have you.
i want to forget you.
i'm trying to.
maybe then i can find someone else.
someone else who care.
who at least pays attention to me.
i always say we girls don't need guys.
maybe i'm wrong.
but seriously.
if i can't ever find a guy who i like as much as he likes me.
i stay single forever.
at least being single,
you won't be hurt.
you won't feel pain.
maybe that's why i'm advising cheryl to break with her stead ASAP.
why?
that fucking bastard cares more about dota than her.
rather dota than reply her messages.
when she cried and told him about it.
he said, "i want a normal gf who don't cry so easily de"
ask her go see doctor.
WTF.
FUCKING BASTARD.
i want her to break with him asap.
this kind of guy.
ain't worth her love
ain't worth her tears.
don't deserve her at all.
i shall make myself busy with school stuffs.
then maybe i won't think so much.
i miss those tkgs days.
when its all girls.
girls won't hurt each other the way guys do.
the most hurtful thing a girl can do to you is probably just bitching about you.
a guy can tear your heart in twos.
and that guy does not necessarily have to be the guy you like.
but somehow they just do.
maybe that's why you see so many lesbians.
they probably got hurt by guys before.
or they think that guys are not dependable.
the way they get sick of something so fast.
maybe i should turn to lesbianism.
no joke.
since my school has so many lesbians.
and i'm sick of waiting.
sick of being hurt.
sick of being neglected.
urgh.
i cannot think straight.
i shall not think then.
i shall sleep.
edit//
thanks jerome.
you are a true friend.
always being there to listen to my troubles.
=) i love you always.
erms.
friendship love.
hahs.
me_________`e-leen *
11:12 PM
Sunday, May 07, 2006
cut my hair ytd.
=)
looks almost de same
LOL.
except its ABIT shorter.
and ABIT thinner.
not so FLUFF.
lol.
for only $10.
and i get a free comb.
woooh.
go to EQ house.
LOL.
free advertising.
=x
went with cheryl.
she cut too.
turned out not bad oso.
haha.
went to court after that.
about 3 plus.
zzz.
played cards.
talked.
crap around.
till 5 plus 6.
leon came down.
terence came down.
rained.
SIANs.
cannot go home.
lol.
yays?
hahahs.
kerli and jieyun went to kerli's house dry up.
de guys came. [mk, daniel, zheng yuan, weilun]
went to kerli's house awhile.
talk talk.
went back
de guys had issues.
so i sat with weida they all 1st.
LOL.
those 3 funny guys.
hahahs.
leon went home to bathe.
terence went his house oso.
den came down again.
went to meet de rest to eat dinner.
i feel so bad.
leon and terence treat me.
i gave them de $5 but they stuffed it back to me
as in literally STUFF.
lol.
thanks guys! =)
went home.
took teh's jacket home oso.
lols.
no 1) he lazy take home.
no 2) its so nice to wear dat i refused to let it go.
LOL.
but it so BIG.
hahah.
but comfy though.
hahas.
dunno when gonna return him.
=x.
lols
me_________`e-leen *
10:28 PM
Friday, May 05, 2006
wth.
its like, 1st week of school?
only de 4th day only?
and we have major assignment liao.
NVM.
and we have to present on TUESDAY.
wth.
i'm shag.
block teaching is freaking stressful.
freaks.
i have to burn midnight oil today.
urgh.
nvm.
hopefully will get used to de hectic schedule.
anyway.
shirley said the security guy saw [or heard i'm not sure] XIAO MING ytd night.
OMG.
but now we think its XIAO HUA.
we suspect its a gal.
zzz.
i REFUSE to walk to de lift from de studio from today onwards after 7.30pm.
dats when it gets dark.
but victor says those stuffs normally only happen after 9pm.
OMG.
XIAO HUA.
imagine seeing a pair of feet.
with shoes.
OMG.
zzz.
i'm shag.
my nice leather bag broke.
=( so sad.
i love dat bag.
and its NEW.
=(.
lousy quality.
or i think too heavy. =(
me_________`e-leen *
11:28 PM
Thursday, May 04, 2006
today's SPFEX lecture was pretty interesting.
SURPRISINGLY.
haha.
finished SPFEX at 11.30am.
went for lunch at Mensa.
i LOVE the mushroom soup!!
haha.
went to IAD studio to do our dumb project.
turned out quite well.
though we started off bad.
haha.
finished de whole thing in like, 2hrs?
kinda amazed.
our group started with de least stuffs.
but completed 1st.
LOL.
coolios.
had DADra till 5.15pm.
we always get let out early. =D
went back to studio for our presentation draft.
zzz.
drafted out.
okay.
stayed on for dinner at design skool.
de uncle is super funny.
hahaha.
he got bullied by thet students.
me: " uncle you so poor thing get bully by them"
uncle: "ya lor. you help me beat them la"
me: "LOL!"
all in chi of cuz.
haha. so funny.
left de studio at 7pm.
omg.
so freaking scary can.
dark and empty.
plus b4 that a year two senior telling us about XIAO MING.
xiao ming, they say, is a pair of lil boy's feet.
dat will come out from de PID's studio.
de door opens itself.
xiao ming appeared.
den walked down de stairs.
and disappears.
oh READ.
its a PAIR OF FEET.
with shoes.
nothin else.
ankle down.
freaky sia.
LOL
and imagine poor me walking down alone.
AND THE FREAKIN PID STUDIO RIGHT BESIDE IAD'S ONE.
omtian.
i hum to myself and walk oh-so-fast to de lift.
HAH.
went to take 291.
supposedly to go home.
leon called.
erm.
have somethings to tell him and teh.
so went to meet them at tm macs
den.
took 28 tog.
i WAS SUPPOSED TO GO HOME
and they pushed/pulled me off de bus.
FREAKS.
lol.
went to de rc.
they play their bball.
i did my hw.
so guai. =)
i hate assignents la!
grrr.
yays. gonna cut and dye my hair soon.
buahahaha.
me_________`e-leen *
11:06 PM
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
i'm in lecture room now.
zzz. and i'm super slpy.
and de only reason why my lecturer nv kan me and my fren for using the com for irrelevant stuffs is because...
we are too pro and finished our stuffs so damn fast.
LOL.
=)
i'm SUPER slpy.
i need slp.
if leon they all nv call me go court i'm not going today.
HAH.
see if can find ppl eat dinner with.
if not go home eat.
den do hw.
ZZ. go online check friendster, msn awhile.
and i shall sleep at TEN.
if its possible. zzz
i'm freaking shag.
dammit
design students all no sleep sia.
no time for sleep.
PROJECTS.
zzzzz.
and wad... its just day 2
freaks.
i need SLEEP.
me_________`e-leen *
4:53 PM
Monday, May 01, 2006
did a cool test.
results:
The fact that you're a smart person who is more able to understand complex concepts than many other people are really draws people to you! But that's not the only thing. Your answers on the test indicate you're great at expressing myself and can be at my best when articulating my ideas or communicating with others. You are a hopeful and optimistic person who tends to look on the bright side of life, too.
In all, there are 15 qualities that help define you when you're at your best. Those are the traits potential employers, friends, and partners look for in you. What makes you unique is your particular distribution of those 15 qualities.We've found that your particular combination of qualities is rare — only 2 in 10,000 people share the same general mix of traits. Those are great odds if you're trying to show a potential employer, colleague, friend, or date why you're exactly the right person for them.
coolios. =)
me_________`e-leen *
12:55 AM